I keep having dreams about my mom leaving for Malaysia - I don’t really like thinking about it so I’ve been waking up pretty early, for myself anyways. I skipped breakfast (obviously the healthy thing to do) because I assumed I’d be eating a lot at Reylyn’s house…as usual (a correct assumption). I was really lazy to leave my house so I just texted Amy that I was rolling around on my floor, when in fact I was not. I was sitting in front of the computer - but that sounds really boring.

If you’re only interested in seeing the pictures, even though there’s not that many this time…Click Here!

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I was the first one to arrive at Rey’s house and she was typing up her lab so I sat on her really comfy couch until Amy arrived. Reylyn pushed me off the couch to get the door for her, but Amy ended up walking right in anyways - magically. Then when Sharon rang the doorbell or whatnot, we had Amy hide behind the wall to scare her. It was so perfect :D We made, well rather, everyone ‘cept me helped make oreo truffles as I watched. I took a lot of pictures though for what it’s worth :o

For all the pictures (I assure you there is a lot more), Click Here!

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First off, I have no idea who took what pictures. As Clifford put it, the pictures were blurry ‘cus he was “testing the waters,” but I’m pretty sure no one ever finished “testing” these “waters” since at least 80% of them were shakey. I only took about, five pictures that night? ;/ Anyways, I tried to salvage what I could by making them smaller.

It was a really enjoyable night and a great way to start Thanksgiving Break. Lots of playing, eating, and laughing. 

If you want to see the other pictures I didn’t use: Click Here!

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I already knew what to expect since I had my schedule the day before. Alice showed up kind of late-ish to pick Melodie and I up, but other than that, there weren’t any problems in my schedule. I’m kind of lonely, but I managed to get decent seats, and I at least know a couple of people in each class. By the looks of it, I managed to get good teachers, too. :D

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I slept at around 2AM the previous night (or should it be earlier that morning?) trying to make Paige’s Birthday Card, oh and I talked to Lyanne, too. I was typo’ing so bad the entire night - iPond Fourd. I think by the end of it, we were just high off being tired. My dad woke me up at around 6:20AM or so to get ready, even though I was essentially ready ‘cus my bags were packed. Heading out, it was kind of cloudy and misty outside; I arrived promptly at Emma’s at around 7:50, give or take. I heard them all talking even before I rang the doorbell - I didn’t know if I was supposed to ring the doorbell so I decided to call, but then Reylyn and people opened the door :D We lingered around the room until they called for breakfast which I didn’t eat much ‘cus I already ate at home. Sharon came down super late. Eventually, people began arriving and crowded the front room (Guest List was: A couple of Emma’s friends, Emma, Meredith, Sharon, Melodie, Amy, Reylyn, Jinny, David, Ira, Neriel, Jimmy, Chi Chiu, Andrew, Clifford, Wilson, Eman, Patrick, Lyanne, Wallace, Karen, Gary, Keith (sorry if I missed someone!). Emma’s house is constructed so cool-like. LOL. Just saying! The first floor is like a big circle since it’s all connected.

We were just sitting around while everyone was making last minute preparations. Someone threw this panda figure, I think it was David and I caught it. I felt so proud. :D Oh, and Emma opened some of her gifts. On the bus, I sat near the back originally, and then Jinny asked to sit next to me, but then I asked Meredith earlier on LOL, so I moved to let her have the seat. I dunno where Meredith was but she came on the bus pretty late >:l Lucky we managed to get a seat near Sharon, Amy, and Neriel so we weren’t completely isolated. While driving there, I felt like my brain wanted to give up. LOL. So while Meredith went off to play Mafia in the back I slept. It was so good, too cus the seats were comfy.

Upon arriving, Emma’s mom distributed the meal vouchers and tickets, she was still short about four though. While the majority of the party walked into Dorney Park (even though we told them to wait >_>), Lyanne, Emma, Jinny, Meredith, Karen, and I waited for more tickets. We went to the Water Park area first, the first rides few were fun, most of them were just a bunch of slide-type things (go figure). The group of us eventually met up at the Wave pool.

Climbing out, we went on more rides and while most of them finished off at the wave pool again, we decided to dry up and go change. Meredith, Jinny took so long in changing. T_T I was the first one out. LOL. Maybe I’m just more experienced ‘cus I’m used to changing after swim.

At this point, we were starving - and we waited for others so much D: Gradually, we found some area where we could redeem our food vouchers and ate. I had chicken strips with fries. At the table, I sat next to David, Emma, Reylyn, Melodie was further down, Amy, and I think Emma’s friend. We were discussing Rugrats and how tumblr isn’t a reliable source of information, thus making Reylyn largely unreliable and misinformed. We were finishing up with eating when David wanted to try out one of the claw machines. He actually caught one of the Angry Birds figurines when all of a sudden the claw just opened up and dropped it. T_T What a scammmm. Some pictures, then a group division once more since not everyone wanted to go on the big roller coasters. Our new party was: Meredith, Sharon, Amy, Wallace, and occasionally Ira, Keith, Jinny, and Emma.

Our end goal was the ferris wheel which took us forever to find. T_T Along the way, we rode the carousel twice in a row. Ahaha, we’re so cool! //Amy had the only camera with her. LOL.

I don’t really remember the order of rides after this, but I’m pretty sure the Bavarian Wire- something. Meredith was initially afraid to go on, but after some hardcore persuading she came with me~ And afterwards she admitted to liking it.

We rode a bunch of kiddie rides after. ON ONE OF THEM - some wild mouse shit, they said I wasn’t allowed on without an adult because I was a child. LOL. WHATTTTTT. I wasn’t going to go on by myself anyways, but still! I was the oldest one there! Smh.

Okay, now I’m just going to speed through the rest. We went on a bunch of spinny rides. Meredith and I totally owned at the teacup ride, then the four of us went on Tilt-A-Whirl, followed by this ride where everyone got crushed to the side. LOL. Eventually, we found the ferris wheel. Got on that, and on the first round, we stopped right at the top, and when the gondola thing started rocking I got mad nervous. LOL.

Then we just took mad photos and met up with everyone near the front entrance. More waiting…on the bus Meredith and I tried to camwhore. IT DID NOT WORK. We were just ugly that day I guess. Behind us, Amy and Sharon tried, too. They weren’t very successful either. It’s the bus! It’s the bus! Eventually, Meredith went to the back to play Mafia again while I talked to Neriel, Sharon, and Amy. We went from topics like, the future to Big Bang. Reylyn heard me call TOPTOPTOP! from all the way in the back. LOL! The weather was so perfect, too! It was cloudy and rainy, making the bus feel very cozy. When we arriving, it was like 8:17, which was around the same time people were arriving to Emma’s house in the morning, plus the weather was the same so it was like time hadn’t moved at all. It was a good bus ride home!

Sharon’s parents were already there when we got off so we only had time to grab our stuff and say good bye. My bag was so heavy, lolzomg. While driving to Sharon’s house, it was literally almost like the middle of nowhere in a really peaceful way since there were trees everywhere and the cloudy skies were still around.

I got to Sharon’s house and I showered first, changed quickly. Then Sharon went. In general, we got ready pretty fast. At the Hall where Paige’s s16 was, it was super awkward - we were about an hour and fifteen minutes late. I saw so many people that I was surprised to see. We lost our seats at our designated table so we had to relocated to this purely adult table. AWKWARDDDD. It’s okay though because we had each other. The entire party a bunch of these weird guys kept asking us to dance. They were all really short and young looking. We didn’t want to dance though (but we did go up a couple of times) - the dancefloor looked so awkward since it was so diverse that it got kind of hard to mingle. We just ended up playing Two Truths and a Lie, and when Nick Sanso, Zara, and Marianna came over, we played Never Have I Ever. I ended up winning!

Eventually, Paige’s Candle-Lighting thing took up the majority of the time and we just watched and continued  our game of two truths. Even though we seemed so close, we actually didn’t really know much about each other since we just officially started talking around five months ago. Ate some ice cream, and my dad arrived just on time.

I went home, changed, and laid in my bed playing 999. Then I slept really well. I kept getting that feeling where I was going down on a rollercoaster though, or like whooshing around in my head. Ahaha, it was such a good day though.

My mom tried to wake me up for SHSI this morning, but then I was just liek “no.” I stayed up til 3-ish playing Pokemon. My parents left for Brooklyn at some point and I was just in bed right up until 1:16. I got up and debated whether or not I wanted to shower now. I decided to eat something first and just as I finished cutting this Asian bread pastry baked thing, I heard the doors downstairs open and my parents were home. :D So I ate noodles and rice stuff for lunch. From there, I continued playing pokemon until 3-ish. (LOL, I didn’t even notice this until now.) I stopped to start making Lyanne’s card. I forgot to take a picture of the cover, but it was super cute. ]: I stopped at around 5ish to curl my hair. I worked right up to the last minute doing this all, MELODIE AS A WITNESS. LOLOL. I finished the card at 6:15PM and we left at that time too. :D

Melodie was with me and we went to pick up Meredith. Then Reylyn called Melodie, she had just arrived there at the Renaissance, too. In the Renaissance, we checked in our coats and I got the number 66. Then we picked up these card thingies with our names and our table numbers. A bunch of us got Table 3: Meredith, Melodie, Neriel, Reylyn, Eve, Marta, Sharon, Ira, Milton, and Christian B. Eventually, Wilson came with this big wrapped thing. We helped him move it inside the hall place and dropped off our presents too.

Soon, people started arriving in and we were allowed to go inside. There were these caterer people that walked around with trays of food. I wasn’t feel experimental so I didn’t take much. At one point, Lyanne finally came in, then she left again to be introduced. LOL. :D After that, I’m pretty sure the buffet was opened and we all got called to get food. 

Surprisingly, everyone ate pretty quickly. Music came on and the dancefloor was “open.” Lolololol. I think we danced for more than an hour. It wasn’t even really dancing, it was more of like, a huge mob fistpumping / jumping / clapping. Then, David, Wilson, Andrew, Jimmy, and Clifford did Digital Bounce. LOL. I’ll never listen to the song without thinking of them again. xD It started a whole mix of Kpop songs. From there, it really was a bunch of dancing and it started getting so hot in there and smelled really sweaty so I escaped with Eve to the bathroom for a brief moment and upon returning, we rejoined the crowd. It was kind of weird though, cus it was only like, 3-ish tables dancing while everyone else sat and watched. o_o

While we were taking photos, one of the ladies that worked there said that she’ll take the photo and in exchange someone had to go outside because there was someone sitting outside all on their own. I think Wilson volunteered, and then she took the photo. Instead of just Wilson going out, EVERYONEEE WENT OUT. To be honest, the kid looked like Chris Trang from an angle. I think we ended up scaring him since we just mobbed him so we went back inside. ._. 

After a bunch more dancing or whatnot, they eventually stopped everything so that Lyanne’s parents could make a speech and it was really sweet. The dessert buffet thing was opened and I think Melodie and I went to the bathroom again. It really was hotttt in there. 

I think we continued dancing after that. o_o I really can’t remember. OH, that one dance after the Cha Cha was really confusing. x_x Aaaah, eventually it ended at around 11-ish and we all just mobbed around at one side of the area and got these little cake shaped things that were actually towels. They looked so realisitic, I’m pretty sure someone would have tried to eat them. Lyanne unwrapped the huge present that Wilson & co. got her. It was a hugeeee doggy. Mad people tried to sit inside the wrapping paper thing. Ahahaaa xD Eve and I somehow managed to catch 11:10, so we stood there staring at my phone for what seemed to be the longest minute, EVERRRR. But we did get 11:11 :D Later on, we gradually shifted outside into that lobby area and everyone got their coats, jackets. etc,. I sat next to David and Meredith were in these chair thingies so I just sat on that fireplace. IT FELT SO GOOD SINCE IT WAS COLD. Then my dad called and I gathered Melodie and Chi Chiu and like, hugged everyone basically. 

I asked Chi Chiu why didn’t he wear a tie and he said he left it on the door and then I asked about his jacket, and he said that he didn’t have oneeee. I suggested that he invested in one at some point. GOOD INVESTMENT IS GOOD? Yeah. Aah, in the car I found out I had two huge blisters on the side of my left foot. LOL and this scar thing from where someone stabbed me with their heel. x_x  DON’T MIND DON’T MIND. LOLOL. We dropped Chi Chiu off first, and my dad was like, “He’s so shyyyy.” Then Melodieeeee. 

When I got home I turned on my computer and went to go shower. Basically, the rest of the night was just browsing through tumblr and refreshing facebook to see all the pictures that everyone uploaded so quickly. Ahh, I was so tired, but I couldn’t sleep. I think I stayed up to around 2-ish. Loool. Yeah.

- This is my second time typing everything up since yesterday night my laptop decided to give me the blue screen. Yeah.

YAWWWWN.

I woke up this morning and I was just in denial that I had to go to school. My basic thought process is this:

I think of having to make my bed, and when I think of making my bed, I think of having to go to school, and when I think of school, I think of my classes, and when I think of my classes, I think of trig, and when I think of trig, I think of Perper, and when I think of Perper, I think of failing, and when I think of failing, I think of being unsuccessful, and when I think of being unsuccessful, I think of dying, and when I think of dying, I think of how much time I just wasted in school.

My life.

During my free, I decided to do AP homework for fun. .___. The rest of the day went by pretty quickly and irrelevantly. So, yah. I found out I got an 85 on my chem test. Sigh…I only got one multiple choice wrong and it was just the short answer that was unkind to me. After school, Meredith, Eve, Marta, Monica, Melodie, and I went to play VB near the handball courts and saw Lyanne there. I think I did pretty well. o_o Except my arms started stinging and it was really cold. Next time, I shouldn’t play in a t-shirt. I still am cold. D: Eventually, a bunch of people joined us, including: Wilson, Patrick, Jimmy, and a bunch of other people. I left soon after that. LOL.

Melodie’s dad dropped me off at my house and right after I get home, I got a text from Chi Chiu asking if I was home. LOL CREEPY TIMING, MANNN. A few minutes later him and Andrew called me to find out what the Planet Wings menu was since their internet wasn’t working. LOL; I ended up reading out a chunk of the menu except I couldn’t find what Andrew was looking for. 

Then I ate some stuff and crammed homework. My hand is kind of numbish. Now I’m here and about to do Jan’s massive card. I hope I can find people who will sign it. QQ. I still owe a picture post. Perhaps another time. 

So today went by relatively quickly, except in Trig which was extremely painful to endure, especially since it was so HOT in there. Mr Perper said so, too. Otherwise, easy day was easy. Oh, and in VB, I randomly fell for no apparent reason. o_o

After school, a bunch of people helped set up a surprise Baby Shower for Ms. Elfassy. It was going to be a surprise so we all turned off the lights and what not and hid behind the pillar-y things and the door. It was generally pretty okay. :D

Hidingggg, I just called Neriel that it was clear to bring her down.

LOL, I’m pretty sure Neriel won. Best sucker, LOOOOOL.

Had to keep a balloon between them for a good distance. LOL. :D The guys generally moved reallllyyy fast, but they had to start over mad times.

After that, they played this game where they had to stand only on this piece of paper and their foot couldn’t leave it. The paper kept getting half’ed. LOL. nice word.

Folding the paper…

Looool ;D Got intense. All in all, it was a generally nice day. Oh, and Alice is leaving for China tomorrow and Milton left for Berlin today. He left me a voice mail on my phone saying that he was on the plane. LOL. how nice?

LOL, this is so late, but I suppose I’ve been busy and lazy and whatnot. ]: Regardless, regardless. I decided on going to school this year because everyone else was going even though that’s a pretty shit reason to go to school. ;/

Anyways, the day before New Year, I planned on going home after school and that’s when my dad called and said that he’ll be able to come and pick me up.

WHEN HE PULLED UP, my aunt from Chinatown was in the car, too. NO WONDER. >:l Well, w/e idc enough to be mad about that. So I went home and my mom had this whole big dinner semi-prepared. She did a bunch of religious things while I remained forever-alone downstairs on the computer for homework. .___. My aunt speaks so loudly. x_x Aaah, at about 6, we finally got to eat.

All in all, it was pretty meh. I remember being really sleepy. To be honest, I’ve been really sleepy all week.

Well, my schedule is pretty lonely. .____.

First Period - Free, Emma.

Second Period - English with Fusaro, Chi Chiu, Binbin; BUT SHE SITS ALL THE WAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, Jinny, and Emily.

Third Period - Russian with Dobry, with Erin <3, Monica, JanYing, Patrick L., and Dong. LOL, on the first day, Erin and I picked seats next to each other and then Dobry made us get up so that she could seat us alphabetically. LOOOL, WE STILL ENDED UP NEXT TO EACH OTHER. Moments later, she realized that she forgot to place Karen so she made EVERYONE get up so that Karen could get a seat. We all got shifted down one and I was still next to Erin. Decided that fate could not resist our bond.

Fourth Period - VB Gym: Melodie, Lyanne, Emma, Jessie, Keith, Elizabeth, David, Wilson, Andrew, Ira, Clifford, and Johann. I don’t think I forgot anyone. o_o It’s actually a lot less intimidating here compared to my previous 7th period VB gym.

Fifth Period - APGlobal with Palma, YO, THERE IS NO ONE HERE. I’M LEGIT FOREVER ALONE. There’s about 25ish kids in the class and the schedule gods refused to place me in an AP class with friends once more.

Sixth Period - Lunch: Lyanne, Jessie, Jamie, Amy, Neriel, Sharon, Gary, Johann and Daniel. Really quiet, really lonely. It’s not as bad as having 4th period lunch though ;/ Next week, we’re going to go to VB tutoring instead of lunch. So, yah. LOL.

Seventh Period - Trigonometry with Perper, Jamie (SITS ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROOM), Julie, Martin. IT’S A BIG ROOM. IT’S DARK. IT’S PRETTY WARM. I SIT IN THE BACK. So hard to stay awake. Jamie and I observed how no one smiles when they walk out of Perper’s classroom.

Eighth Period - Chemistry with Fertoli, Olivia, KaeLin, Sasha, Binbin. CAN I JUST SAY THAT I LOVE THIS LADY? 

Ninth Period - CAD with Mazza, ahaha. David and I ended up next to each other again. He arranged us alphabetically :]. Uh, otherwise, I have Gary, Sharon, Reylyn, Monica, Patrick L., and Elizabeth. The people all around me a pretty friendly, so yah. :]

GENERALLY, the schedule gods were pleased with me. ;/

Kays, so I’ll start off with Thursday since I made that really detailed post about Wednesday already.

//January 20

I had a sub in electronics and it was generally a pretty chill day. During lunch, David got up to get lunch and I suggested to Wilson that we turn his book bag inside out. LOL, we worked so well together. Like, he took out all of David’s things and I just flipped it inside out mad fast and we stuffed it all back in. Once we zippered it, we played it off like nothing happened. Lolol, David came back and didn’t recognize his own bag, so he was about to throw it onto the floor or something. Ahaha, eventually he did and he complimented us on how fast we were. Later on in the period, Jan decides to go to the bathroom with Zara and here’s part two. I suggested, once again, to turn her bag inside out. It wasn’t as easy as David’s bag though. Jan had a bunch of random shit in it so Wilson had to turn it inside out to dump out the remaining small items. At one point, we saw the randomest things from scraps of paper, used napkins, to fruits, and he and I wanted to turn back and just stop. BUT WE KEPT GOING. Once we were done (this didn’t take as long again, mad pro. ;D), the remaining people at the table developed this plan to disperse (otherwise we definitely would have died) once Neriel gave the signal that she was approaching. LOLLLL, we were so smooth when we did it. We all went to separate tables and basically blended in. Once Jan entered the cafeteria, she looked at our area and then she started walking in our directions. LOOL, we thought she was mad about her bag, but it turns out that she didn’t notice yet. It was only once we told her that there was something suspicious about her items that she had a fit. Ahahaa, omg. xD We all regrouped and began this whole blame game where she focused on Neriel, David, and Wilson, even though Neriel and David didn’t do anything. Later on, she would somehow find out that it was me, too. D:

After school,  I went to Filipino club since Meredith and Reylyn had a brief meeting and I wasn’t about to sit in art club on my own. LOL, their meeting really was brief. Neriel, Melodie, and Emma disappeared off to Christian Seekers while Meredith, Reylyn, Keith and I went to Art Club and started talking to Ms. Stern about how ridiculous the English language was. At one point, we got into this heated debate about how to say the word “tear,” the water that comes out of your eyes when you cry, and when you rip the paper. Apparently, Reylyn and Meredith had been pronouncing it strangely and it was up until they were proven wrong by two english teachers simultaneously did they realize. :} Lololol, don’t mind don’t mind. I think the reason why it wasn’t noticed earlier is because the term “rip” is more frequently used rather than “tear” when referring to damaged paper. Yer, nothing relatively artistic happened in Art Club that day.

We went home and I ate, slept, woke up, did nothing, and began my study session at like, 12 at night until 2. LIKE A PRO.

//January 21

It turns out that it snowed during the night so the morning was pretty cold. x_x We walked into school right on time as they were dismissed up into the locker rooms. In CAD, I printed out some of the classworks and did the Multiple Choice Question Review with David. In Electronics, I had my last test which actually wasn’t that bad since I knew how to do everything. I just forgot to convert to polar form at the end, don’t mind don’t mind. Not a big deal. During Lunch, it felt like everyone was studying for something. Lol o_o Probably for AP. YO, I didn’t realize I had AP right after lunch until halfway into the lunch period. Lmaooo, it was a slow day for me. I felt so attentive during Chemistry today, I think it’s because of Amy’s pen. Liek, if I have a nice writing utensil, I’m a dedicated kid. Lab was pretty boring and easy since we only had to do a bunch of Regents Questions that I actually sort of got. I presented my dialog in Russian. Ira was complaining about how he KNEW he failed the APGlobal test, he even went as far as putting in eyedrops to make it look as if he cried and he started ripping paper. Lmao. xD In English, it was so BS. We read a poem and then Ms. Federico started interpreting dreams for us. LOL.

After school, I met up with Meredith, Reylyn, Monica, Melodie and Keith and went to Subways then Napoli’s. In Napoli’s, we saw Wilson, Andrew, Lyanne, and Jimmy. We sat at the table right behind them. Meredith and I split a calzone (I owe her 50cents. I remembered. :]). While I was looking at the menu with Meredith, I walked over to behind Monica and she was going through my bookbag. LOLLL, she didn’t know was behind her and probably thought she was being all pro. Lmfao, epic fail //kthx. Then eventually, Mr. Perper came in. Ahahaa, Jimmy got up and started posing behind him and then even Monica, Meredith, and Melodie went up to ask for an official picture which he denied, because apparently, he got into trouble for it once. Later on, somehow, Monica got distracted and I was able to steal $10 from her wallet. LOL. Obviously, I gave it back, but she wouldn’t have noticed a thing until I mentioned it. Once again, Monica looked away or something and Reylyn took her camera and put it in her pocket which Monica. AHAAAA, Monica must’ve spent so long looking for it and she still couldn’t find it. At one point, she was SO close. She poked Reylyn’s coat pocket, but she poked it slightly too high. LOL. xD Then we switched it to Reylyn’s bookbag. Monica got suspicious or something and we had to relocate it once more. Reylyn somehow secretively handed it to me and I tossed it into my coat which I then later moved it into her own bag. Ahaa ;D too pro. Once Neriel arrived from Volleyball, we decided to leave. *Monica would eventually find her camera. She blamed me. Clever girl is clever.

When I got home, Meredith wasn’t online yet so I didn’t watch Jersey Shore until awhile later. I had to settle for Bones while doing my Take-Home quiz from Mr. Perper. >_> Sigh. I don’t even. Then the rest of the night really just HAPPENED, cus I didn’t do a thing. I really need to start practicing piano though.

//In General.

Ahhh, I didn’t really care after he raged at me since it was pretty understandable. It kind of seems like I made a big deal out of it, but initially I don’t think I did. NOW IDK. Cus it was originally just between us and w/e. Like, it feels like I went around telling everyone what happened. x_x Wtfffffff. Now there’s this really awkward feeling I get between 3rd and 4th Period, and 8th and 9th Period cus that’s when I see Chi Chiu. ;/ BLAHH, Idk.  We don’t even say hi in the hallways anymore. o-o AAAH, idk if this is some ghetto fight or just a coincidence. LOOL, AM I SUPPOSED TO TRY TO CLEAR THINGS UP. HALP PL0X.

* I’m 90% sure I know who got me for the Art Exchange. IFFFF, the person ever reads this, I THINKKKK, YOU’RE ANIME-BASED: I’m up to date with Hitman Reborn because I’m lame and my favorite characters are Yamamoto and Squalo. I’ve fallen behind in Bleach in both anime and manga. I’m up to date with the One Piece anime though. Aah, I dunno what other mainstream stuff you’d know. }: I like D. Gray Man though. OMG Y I SO LAMEEEE. LOOOL GLGL.

You know, I just realized how retarded I must sound if my guess is wrong.

Omg, I’m starting to doubt my assumption.